A Clean Sweep

Whether it's a memento of a first date or the receipt from last week's dry cleaning, most people like to keep things "just in case."

Occassionally this can get a little out of control and your friends may call one of those reality shows that teach you to face all the crap you keep that you think is so important. And every once in awhile you hear on the news about one of those people whom the neighbors call health and human services over once their stacks of newspapers, cat piss collections and garbage-festooned front yards have managed to offend everyone within a 500 yard radius.

Let me point out at this time that I am not one of these people. I do however have a problem with what some experts call "clutter."

Ms. Sizzle recently loaned me a book called "Clear Your Clutter with FENG SHUI." This, after a recent visit to my house where she realized I was drowning in a sea of unread books, mountains of clothing and small forests of papers, receipts and junk mail. Sure I have my methods of organizing the piles of crap I accumulate over time. When you accumulate a lot of crap, you have to figure out where it all goes - especially if company is coming.

When I was younger, I favored the "Let's-see-how-much-stuff-I-can-cram-under-my-bed" method. Mom and Dad were fooled only briefly by this trick but nonetheless, it lead to a quick and tidy room, perfect for presenting to guests.

More recently, I have adopted the "put-as-much-crap-as-you-can-in-an-old-Target-bag-and-sort-through-it-
at-a-later-date" methodology. Once items are placed in said Target bag, it can then be placed in the closet or behind the sofa where no one has to see it. Variations on this theme include using a large paper gift bag with handles and/or an old cardboard box. This method has served me well over the years as it is a way of "compartmentalizing" my clutter. My rationale being that "one day" all I will have to do is go through the bag, sort everything out that needs sorting and I'll be done. Maybe if I went through a bag or a box every week? Why, I'd be through in no time!

These are lofty goals, but you know as well as I do that that scenario never plays out. What happens is that I accumulate more and more bags and boxes of paperwork, junk mail, books, magazines, new electronic doo-dads, games, toys, souveneirs and other crap that I can't bear to part with but don't know where to put.

Now that I have read "Clear Your Clutter with FENG SHUI," the biggest thing I take away from it is that there's not a lot of Feng Shui going on in the book. The basic gist is: "Get rid of your crap and you'll feel better and maybe win the lottery." I don't necessarily need a book on Feng Shui to tell me this, but it did point out that the accumulation of too much clutter can block the energy flow of your surroundings which may lead to disharmonies in your personal and professional life. This makes sense to me.

So, inspired, I started off small and de-cluttered my bathroom: three drawers and the under-sink cabinet. I was amazed at how many expired medicines and prescriptions I had laying about! I threw out crap I had carried from house to house and hadn't actually had a need for in years. And I have to tell you: I feel fantastic. My bathroom has never been so organized and clutter free... and now I'm inspired to get to the rest of my space.

So please, do not call one of those reality shows that will ambush me and parade my current state of cluttered chaos before a battery of cameras and basic cable subscribers. I can de-clutter myself, thankyouverymuch... now which Target bag do I start with?